The Tragedy of Rolling Stone
The “former” Pop Princess, Britney Spears “graces” the cover of the current issue of Rolling Stone magazine. However, unlike the past six times Britney has appeared on the cover, this time it is not for her music. No, this time the caption reads, “Britney Spears, Inside an American Tragedy.”
Hey Rolling Stone — Newsflash: Britney Spears is not dead! (They even have a
photo gallery entitled “The Star’s Life in Photos” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
While her recent history has been one tragic story after another (starting about a year ago when she entered rehab, left rehab, shaved her head and re-entered rehab all within about 45 minutes), calling this young woman a tragedy is taking it one step too far. We at Ms Informed love nothing better than to go that extra step, to see the line and so callously step right over it, but not in this case. Britney has some serious psychological issues for which she needs medical help (read RS’s
excerpt and tell me these are the words and actions of someone deemed sane), and it is high time for the blood-sucking paparazzi to stop chasing her everywhere she goes and let her get the help she so desperately needs before an American tragedy really does strike.
At the young age of 26, Britney has accomplished much more than most of us and has plenty of time to straighten her life out. Whether that means making a comeback or leaving fame behind completely. But either way, don’t close the book on her just yet. Sure, Spears may be down, but she is certainly not out. (Even with her current problems, Piece of Me STILL hits #1 on Z100’s High Noon countdown…sometimes #2. Sometimes.) Perhaps, the crazy Chris Crocker said it best when he pleaded, “Leave Britney alone.”
Much love to Britney. We wish you all the best.
{image courtesy of RollingStone.com}
February 7th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Poor Britney. I really wish people would leave her alone. She needs help and she isn’t getting it.
February 7th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
[Oh, wow. Where to begin... let's just cut this into pieces and analyze this in chunks.]
The “former” Pop Princess, Britney Spears “graces” the cover of the current issue of Rolling Stone magazine.
[Nice use of quotations. I didn't realize it was 1992 and sarcasm could still be inferred through such means. Did you do that thing with your fingers when you wrote this, too?]
However, unlike the past six times Britney has appeared on the cover, this time it is not for her music. No, this time the caption reads, “Britney Spears, Inside an American Tragedy.”
[Riiiight. Because it's always been about Britney's slick, overproduced music. Her career has had nothing to do with her persona, life, and looks. If you really think Britney Spears is a musician you're delusional. Same thing if you think Rolling Stone is a music publication.]
Hey Rolling Stone — Newsflash: Britney Spears is not dead! (They even have a photo gallery entitled “The Star’s Life in Photos” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
[No, but her career is damn close to it. Newsflash (ooh, lame cliche number two), Rolling Stone is doing something called satirical writing. See, they're comparing the impending death of her career with her real life, and are drawing comparisons that really aren't too far off.]
While her recent history has been one tragic story after another (starting about a year ago when she entered rehab, left rehab, shaved her head and re-entered rehab all within about 45 minutes), calling this young woman a tragedy is taking it one step too far.
[Are you kidding? Read what you just wrote again, but before you do, just say aloud to yourself "A healthy, well-adjusted woman with the world at her fingertips..." and then go into the part about shaving her head and going in and out of rehab. Don't forget locking herself in the bathroom with her child as she childishly (ooh, a pun!) tried to evade social services. And if calling her a tragedy is too far, why did you use that very word to describe her recent history (which, coincidentally, is exactly what Rolling Stone did)]
We at Ms Informed love nothing better than to go that extra step, to see the line and so callously step right over it, but not in this case.
[Again, I urge you to read what you just wrote.]
Britney has some serious psychological issues for which she needs medical help (read RS’s excerpt and tell me these are the words and actions of someone deemed sane), and it is high time for the blood-sucking paparazzi to stop chasing her everywhere she goes and let her get the help she so desperately needs before an American tragedy really does strike.
[This is one sentence. Learn to use periods. And yes, she is fucking crazy. But as far as the blood-sucking paparazzi go, maybe Brit should refrain from clubbing or going out on the town for a while and, y'know, maybe, just maybe, try to get her fucking life in order by, say... getting the hell out of Los Angeles?]
At the young age of 26, Britney has accomplished much more than most of us and has plenty of time to straighten her life out.
[People probably said that about Gary Coleman, too.]
Whether that means making a comeback or leaving fame behind completely.
[See, here's two very different options with very different outcomes. She should be trying the latter, but seems to be hell bent on the former. And besides, didn't she try having a little pseudo-comeback/career reinvention when she made out with Madonna at the VMA's?]
But either way, don’t close the book on her just yet. Sure, Spears may be down, but she is certainly not out. (Even with her current problems, Piece of Me STILL hits #1 on Z100’s High Noon countdown…sometimes #2. Sometimes.)
[Ever hear the phrase "there's no such thing as bad publicity"? Her life's a fucking trainwreck, which conveniently keeps her on people's minds. So basically, she looks like a maniac, stays in the limelight, and her backers make money off it.
Hmm, given all this... you might call it a tragedy.]
Perhaps, the crazy Chris Crocker said it best when he pleaded, “Leave Britney alone.”
[And then he cried while wearing a wig. Just like Winston Churchill.]
February 8th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Dear Ham,
Thanks for the comment!
And just so we’re clear, if it is one sentence, why do we need more than one period? Just curious. Ms. Informed is a big fan of compound sentences, as she assumes her readers are not 8 years old. She could be wrong though.
Thanks again! Keep commenting!
~Ms. Informed
February 8th, 2008 at 11:03 am
I would like to second our appreciation for Ham Sandwich’s comment. We at Ms. Informed love to read the different opinions of our readers. Keep commenting.
February 8th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Compound sentences don’t use “and” twice. You could easily chop that down into two sentences.
February 8th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
You’re right, Ham. It’s not a compound sentence. It’s a compound-complex sentence. That is a sentence comprised of at least two independent clauses and one or more dependent clauses.
It is the most sophisticated type of sentence you can use. Understanding how to construct the compound-complex sentence will help you take your writing to a new level of complexity. Give it a whirl sometime.
~Ms.
P.S. Let me know if those sentences were simple enough for your understanding.
February 8th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Wow, Ham Sandwich. Wow. Maybe you should go back and try graduating elementary school first before you start attacking a mentally ill woman and a talented writer like Ms. Informed (When you have your own, better blog, please post the link).
Britney is sick. She is not a tragedy. What is a tragedy is that people like you and the blood-sucking paparazzi can be so heartless. Have you read recent reports about Sam Lufti, who has been drugging her and basically controlling every aspect of her life? Even if they aren’t true, she is clearly not in her right mind, so who are you to criticize her for the things she’s been doing?
Also, her career clearly isn’t over, otherwise her singles wouldn’t still be topping the charts. You might not think her music is good, but clearly millions of people do, so stop criticizing it.
If you would stop criticizing Ms. Informed, maybe you would realize that she is right. Britney Spears is a real person with real problems, and people need to start treating her like one.