Ms. Informed

Get ready y’all, because the queen of comebacks herself has signed a $20 million deal to write her autobiography.

The project is planned to commence when her world tour comes to an end, and from what we hear, multi-volume tell-all will give the juice on everything from the mouse ears to the breakdowns — and everything in between.

Sources say Spears has kept diaries of all the events that have unfolded throughout her fame, so the book shouldn’t hold anything back. The autobio will be released over the course of a decade in three to five parts.

SATC author Candace Bushnell has signed a deal to pen two books about Carrie Bradshaw’s high school years (Sex in the Suburbs, perhaps?) Maybe she can take some cues from Bristol Palin if she’s short on ideas.

Bushnell sees Miley Cyrus playing the young Bradshaw if these projects make it to the big screen. I guess the novels are taking place before Carrie got beaten with the ugly stick. And I mean severely beaten.

Forget the flowers and the brunch. This mother’s day there will be something new for children to share with their moms. Thanks to Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a plastic surgeon in Florida, a children’s story explaining plastic surgery to kids will be released on May 11. The tale deals with an issue with many of his patients struggle.

The story, titled “My Beautiful Mommy,” is about a mother explaning to her daughter that she is having her tummy tucked and getting a nose job. The surgeon steared clear, however, of the topic of breast augmentation.

And people say Barbie is a bad influence on young girls? This book almost makes me want to read Snoop’s series. Almost.

What’s next, a tale about daddy’s vasectomy?

Just when you think the world can’t possibly get any worse…

Snoop Dogg announces he is going to pen a series of “urban themed” children’s books. The series will be illustrated by Snoop’s cousin, Joe Cool. The series, called “Where’s the Cheese?”, will follow Lil’ Mouse in her quest to…find the cheese.

Perhaps the bigger story here is not that is he writing children’s books, but that he can write, period. I’m sorry, but this man makes Flava Flav look like a class act.

Show me a woman who doesn’t want to drop at least 10 pounds, and I’ll show you one who won’t enjoy this book.

But for the rest of us out there, there’s Skinny Bitch.

“If you can’t take one more day of self-loathing, you’re ready to hear the truth: You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to lose weight.

Authors Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin are your new smart-mouthed girlfriends who won’t mince words and will finally tell you the truth about what you’re feeding yourself. And they’ll guide you on making intelligent and educated decisions about food. They may be bitches, but they are skinny bitches. And you’ll be one too-after you get with the program and start eating right.”

~ www.skinnybitch.net

Whoever said being called a bitch was a bad thing?

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